


He's dead, Spock

by MarvelNerd



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angry Spock, Broken Bones, How Spock reacted to Kirks death, James T. Kirk Dies, M/M, Movie: Star Trek Generations (1994), Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness, Spock Prime Speaks To Himself, Subtle Spock/Kirk, T'hy'la, Vulnerable Spock, its too late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 02:33:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20499434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelNerd/pseuds/MarvelNerd
Summary: How Spock reacted to Kirk's death because I felt deprived of that from the movie.





	He's dead, Spock

Spock sat, meditating in his usual position. There was nothing off about this particular day, be he sensed a drift in the back of his consciousness. The part that, frankly, he hadn’t brought up in nearly fifteen years.

He breathed in deeply the Vulcan incense cast around his room. Focusing, he tried to hone in on the disturbance in his mind. Traveling through like a ship in a warp tunnel, he delicately entered the space dedicated to one James. T Kirk. 

There he stood, himself from twenty years ago, golden hair and rusty brown eyes with his hands folded behind his back.

“Captain,” Spock’s consciousness said to the figure. Slowly, Kirk turned around to face his first officer, a charmingly sad smirk on his face.

“Hello, Mr. Spock,” he said, bowing his head.

“Is there something wrong?”

Kirk chuckled, “no there’s nothing wrong.” his eyes focused on Spock’s own.

“Why have you awakened my mind then, sir?” Spock asked in earnest.

“It’s been a long time, old friend,” Kirk smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Yes, exactly 15.43 years since we last saw each other.”

“Has it been that long?” Kirk let his hand drop and his eyes unfocused, “I wish things had gone differently between you and me, Mr. Spock.” he said sadly, stepping closer.

“I do not understand, sir, why-” Spock began to say, but a finger was placed over his lips.

“You don’t need to understand, I’m not sure I understand myself.” And then, Kirk did the most unexplainable thing. He pulled Spock into an embrace, firm and comforting. Usually, Spock would be opposed to such a thing, but he felt a warmth in his chest at the captain’s arms around him.

“Goodbye, Spock,” Kirk said, stroking his hand over Spock's chest before disappearing completely. 

“Jim!” Spock called, but he instantly felt his mind grow cold. He ran through his mind, searching for the presence, but it was gone. Jim Kirk was no longer in his mind, and Spock began to feel slow tendrils of panic crawl up his neck.

Beep, the door to his quarters woke him from the meditation.

“Come,” Spock said, still disoriented. In the doorway stood McCoy, who had been at a medical conference on Vulcan for the time being. It didn’t take long for Spock to notice his disheveled appearance; hair in knots, face lined with tear marks.

“Doctor-” He began to say, standing up urgently.

“Spock, he’s- he’s,” McCoy choked, gripping onto the door.

“What is it Doctor,” Spock said, approaching and expecting the worst.

“Jim’s dead, Spock, he’s dead,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “God in heaven Jim Kirk is dead.”

Spock felt as though he had been punched violently in the stomach, but he withheld his look of indifference, “Thank you for informing me, Doctor, now you may go.”

McCoy looked up in fury, “My God man, I know you have emotions in there! I know how you felt about him! Don’t just stand there looking like- like,” McCoy formed fists at his hands, “JIM KIRK IS DEAD!” 

“I am aware, now, please Doctor, if you would please leave,” Spock said, his throat muscles painfully constricting.

With a final look of fury, he left the cabin and the door shut with him. As soon as it closed, Spock fell to his knees.

He searched inside his mind once more for Jim, but all that was left was cold space.

“T’thyla,” he whispered, his voice feeling small, “It cannot be true.”

Vulcan rage absorbed him, a blindingly terrifying thing and so he rose and slammed his fist into the wall with a roar. Spock brought down paintings and broke glass, tore the sheets off his pristinely made bed and ripped them in half. When he ran out of things to break, he collapsed to the floor, holding his head in between his usually steady hands, and squeezed his eyes shut.

"You cannot be gone!" He called into his mind. "Jim! Please, come back to me, T’thyla, please-” a croak, a desperate plea, met with no answer. He knew there never would be.

And so Spock was left alone, in a universe where he did not belong. Only many years in the future, when his home planet was wiped out in a parallel universe would he look his younger self in the eye and say;

“Because you needed each other. I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together, of a friendship that will define you both in ways you cannot yet realize.”

When he went back to his small cabin after this, he sat gently on the bed with his tired body and closed his eyes.

“T’thyla,” he said into the abyss once more, and if he really focused, Spock swore he could hear a muffled, “It’s ok Spock, I'm here,” and so Spock Prime, a weary old Vulcan smiled in spite of himself and fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment! Thanks for reading


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